Dear Reader, today’s blog is a direct continuation of last week’s, LP Nut’s Alana-fied Technique to Uncover Hidden Benefits and Beliefs Part 1, so please do read that one before continuing on here.
In the last blog, we began an exploration of an Alana-fied version of a technique LP Nut taught at the 2017 retreat to uncover hidden benefits and beliefs. The premise behind the technique is a simple one — if we do stuff that we know hurts us, there must be a reason why we do it since no one likes being in pain. By bringing the ‘why’ — i.e. hidden benefits and beliefs — to light we can begin challenging their logic and alignment with correct view.
In last week’s example we used a series of ‘what-if’ questions to uncover some of the hidden beliefs that under gird my extreme anger at people who honk their horns. Here we will continue the exercise by taking a slightly broader concept — the benefit to my view that people should be considerate (not honking is just one form of consideration) — and digging into the pros and cons of holding that standard/view.
Exploring the Pros and Cons of my Belief: Everyone Should be Considerate/Follow Social Standards*
Pro 1: If people follow rules/standards then I feel the world is predictable and I am in control
Challenge 1: Am I really in control? I have a standard that people shouldn’t honk and the streets of NY are blaring anyway. Does my rule actually allow me to be or prove my control?
Con 1: I am miserable when people honk. I am angry and disappointed whenever I think rules/standards have been broken.
Pro 2: I can follow rules/standards and by doing so I can prove that I am a good person and that people will love and accept me for it
Challenge 2: What about all the times I can’t even follow my own rules? Eric is supposed to clean-up after himself, but don’t I sometimes leave dishes in the sink? And do people love me for upholding these standards? My stepmom used to complain all the time of how difficult I was as a vegetarian, she certainly didn’t love me more for the standards I upheld.
Con 2: This gives me a false sense of superiority and safety.
Pro 3: I can define my vision for a ‘bubble world’ — my ideal setting that is harmonious and rule abiding.
Challenge 3: My bubble world is a a fiction that does not exist in reality. In reality, people break rules and undermine my standards all the time.
Con 3: I feel enraged when my imaginary bubble world is threatened, in New York I have fantasies of punching, or shooting or killing the honkers. In this life, the harm to others is in my head. But can’t I envision the risks of clinging to the idea of ‘bubble world’ in another life/circumstance? It is possible I would kill for it or go to war for it? Then I would reap the karmic consequences on such actions, all because I am a person who holds so firmly to a belief the world should be according to my standards.
Pro 4: These standards, when they are followed, nurture my hope that with time or effort I can ultimately find a perfect world that is worth living in.
Con 4: Over and over I am reborn because of the false hope that my perfect bubble world exists. Each time my standards are met, I save that example in my memory of prof that birth, this world is worth it. That I will ultimately be able to game the system and have a rule abiding/ standard following universe where I can abide in comfort. And until that time, because my standards are so rigid and high, my conditions so numerous, that I rarely find a place that I am comfortable being in.