I was reading a friend’s blog post and was reminded of my own behavior and a lesson I’ve learned over the years practicing with Wat San Fran. Feelings are impermanent. Just because something feels good doesn’t mean I should do it or that it’s right. Just because something hurts doesn’t mean I should not do it or that it’s wrong.

I used to drink alcohol on a daily basis to relax. In order for the relaxation I would drink more and more. The feeling I obtained was great. Does that mean I should continue to do it? No because there is another side and a cost for that ease of feeling relaxed. The feeling became much more important to me than many things in my life. Just a simple, passing feeling I put before so many things in my life.

It turns out that when I think about what is good for me and what is bad for me they have inverse feelings. Let’s take a look at a brief list:

Action:                                                         Feeling:                                                                  Good for me:

Going for a run/lifting weights.             Loss of breath, painful.                                       Yes

Eating right.                                               Not always my favorite flavor, painful.           Yes

Owen learning to sleep on his own.      Painful for all of us.                                             Yes

Admitting I am wrong.                            Embarrassing, painful.                                       Yes

Delving into my wrong perceptions.    Tiring, embarrassing, painful.                           Yes

Eating ice cream.                                      My favorite, taste great, happy.                         No

Being lazy, doing nothing.                      Happy, easy.                                                          No

Lying instead of admitting fault.           Relief, less trouble in the moment.                  No

Drinking.                                                    Happy, carefree.                                                   No

Simply because something feels good does not mean I should do it. Simply because something does not feel good does not mean I shouldn’t do it. I need to do what is hard to gain the result. If I do not tare my muscle there is no room for it to grow. If I do not open my heart and experience some pain there is no room for growth. If I do not challenge my perceptions and thinking I will not grow. To maintain the same way of thinking, to maintain the sense of self that feels most comfortable is to live outside of reality. The reality is I am an ever changing person in an ever changing world wether I like it or not. To deny that or not try to grow simply because of fear, pain or the need for effort is to sell myself short simply for ease of feeling good. That is no longer a life I wish to lead. Over time I have learned to enjoy the challenge, enjoy the pain, enjoy the struggle for the benefit there is in it. I have also found the pain caused my pursuits to feel good. What has happened is I am less a prisoner to my emotions.

What is something you do that is painful but good for you? Is there something you’re afraid of or have been thinking of trying that looks painful or scary but is probably good for you? Leave it in the comments section, lets hear all about it! 🙂