I am often asked by people in conversation “Can you believe that happened?!”. Usually this comes up after a gruesome news story. My thought is yes I can believe that happened. I believe it happened because that is the world today. What happened is part of what humans do. It is part of what happens in this world. There is yet to be something that I am not shocked a human has done. Dont get me wrong it disgusts me, saddens, dismays etc. But it also enlightens because each time is a reminder of the brutal, inevitable of this world. I do not always voice these thoughts with the person asking. I understand the question is not asked in a literal sense but in a metaphorical sense out of their shock. But at the end of the day, yes, I can believe what goes on this world. Thanks to this practice I am no longer in denial of what goes on in this world.
You’re supposed to love the person for “who they are”. Yet at the same time we expect that our partners are to grow, change, mature as well. It makes for difficult conversations, relationships if someone is sticking to “who they are”.
The numerous ride sharing drivers that fill the streets, drive slow, constantly stop and block traffic drive me crazy! I say they are unsafe, they’re constantly stopping, you never know where or when they are going to stop, its unsafe, they drive really slow etc. Yet couldn’t they also be helping to make the road safer if we all are forced to slow down and pay attention. The real question is dont they help me slow down and pay attention and drive safer? The answer for me is yes. So if its not safety that Im really concerned with what is it that is bothering me? I am bothered by the fact that where I live is changing and I have no control over it. The world is doing what it does- changing. My lack of power and control over the world is not the problem of the UBER driver in front of me. It is my problem, my suffering to resolve.
Having a nanny or someone to help with a child can very beneficial. From time to time I will ask mom to come over and “cover for me” and watch our son so I can attend to some business. Being able to dedicate my entire day to getting some things done with my hands free of my son can be very helpful. It makes getting those things done much easier. However if that support is used as the standard as opposed to the exception I’m less likely to learn how to actually care for and deal with my child. Just like most other things in life. Like when I used to use alcohol consumption as the standard for dealing with my issues instead of the exception. It made dealing with them much easier in that moment but I didn’t learn how to actually deal with them until I dealt with them. Its no surprise to me when there are issues amongst families who used outside support as the standard instead of the exception because I have done it also. In more ways than one!
What are some of you thoughts? Please add them to the comments section. Id love to hear them!