I started watching the Netflix show Penny Dreadful.  In one episode, this dialog occurred.

Dorian Gray – I won by the way.  Flash Jack.  Ninety seven on the nose…Not that it matters.

Cowboy – Why not?

Dorian Gray – It’s not as diverting as it use to be.  Once you get use to something, why bother?  It’s just repetition…

For those who don’t know, Dorian Gray is a character in a book, “The Picture of Dorian Gray” by Oscar Wilde.  Published in the 1890s.

From Wikipedia:

• Dorian Gray is the subject of a full-length portrait in oil…understanding that his beauty will fade, Dorian expresses      the desire to sell his soul, to ensure that the picture, rather than he, will age and fade. The wish is granted, and Dorian pursues a libertine life…while staying young and beautiful; all the while his portrait ages and records every soul-corrupting sin.

Dorian is immortal and he is looking for purpose.  When I heard those lines in the show, I thought about my life.  I saw the suffering in his statement.  I would get involved with collecting things and I could see why I collected so many different things; however, my obsession would change over time.  Just like Dorian Gray said, “It’s not as diverting as it use to be.  Once you get use to something, why bother?  It’s just repetition.”  When what I collected became boring, I started collecting something else.  I collected, watches, pens, clothes, magazines, books, knives,  stovetop espresso makers and other things.  Now that I have started practicing Dhamma, I can see my desires, not totally, but more under control than before.  I don’t get as obsessed with things like I use to which is good.  I see things and don’t desire them because I can see the suffering.

For example I use to have a Mercedes Benz.  It was a beautiful car.  It was a coupe with a V8 engine and was red.  I loved the car, but it was a gas guzzler and when I needed to bring it into the shop, it was expensive.  It started to have problems and I could feel that the cost of maintaining it was going to get more expensive.  I worried about where I parked it.  I didn’t what someone to ding my car door.  I worried about scratching the rims.  I didn’t want to drive it fast because I was worried about getting a speeding ticket.  I felt self-conscious when I drove that car.  I thought that people might judge me based on what car I drove (good and bad judgement).  But I loved that car.  I ended up trading it away.  I didn’t like the suffering attached with the car.  Now I have a Prius.  When I got a job a year ago, I saw a Mercedes next to me on the road and thought about what it would be like to own a new one.  Since I’ve been practicing Dhamma for a while, I saw that the suffering associated with owning a new luxury car wasn’t worth the suffering associated with ownership.