People all around the world woke up one day and realized that the most honored King of Thailand had passed away. It was such a devastating news to some that they cried their heart out as I watched them on several media channels. In Thailand as well as San Francisco and many other places, people gathered to pay respect and it was so touching for me to witness such an occasion. One of my Thai friends even mentioned to me that she had never seen Thai people came together and cared for one another until this moment. I asked myself, what have this King done to Thailand?
Videos, news, clips, pictures and stories about the King circulating the social media had given me clearer pictures of what the King did. He could’ve chosen to live his life in a palace as what I expected the King would have lived. But he went the opposite. He helped people in small villages by catered to what they needed. He worked in his small room listening to the radio for any emergencies so he could jump in and helped. He spent his time contributing to the developments of several projects for the wellness of people of Thailand. He dedicated a section of the palace for research on finding new ways to improve agriculture. And the list goes on.
In this Kathina month as I sat down and contemplated on how he had lived his life by giving his time and energy for the wellness of the people, I asked myself, what motivated him to do such thing? What drove him to give away his time, money, energy and effort to help people? What has been driving me to do an act of giving? why do I give or donate to the temple and monks? What do I really believe and how much do I believe it to be true?
Original and quick answer to that is “making good merit (Kamma)”. I believed that when I donated money or robes to the monks, I will somehow receive it back or that my merit balance in the Bank of Merit has increased. But I never stop and think how is that possible? I even remembered that some people (including me) stated that it is such a selfish act to think about what I will get in return. What’s important is we do it to help people in need. And that’s all there is to it. Good merit or not, it does not really matter.
But, is it even possible to give without expecting nothing in return? Or that I help people purely for the sake of helping, especially at this stage of my life? As I stumbled upon a documentary film by BBC (Youtube) of the late King of Thailand, I realized why as a king, he did what he did? Why did he spend so much time helping the poor, helping people? He was the king. He did not have to do all these.
However, because the very same reason that he was the king. As a king, he had a duty to take care of his people. He had to make sure people’s well beings were taken care of. He did it not only for the people, but also for himself as a head of a State. It was such a failure as a head of a State when the people were not taken care of. He was doing his duty, his role. And he did it exceptionally well. He did not want to just sit in the palace and enjoyed the wealth. To him, that was not how a king should have taken care of his people.
Now, go back to my original question about why I give. Why do I donate money, robes, foods to the temple and to the monks? Why do I sometimes help out at the temple? It is because as a practitioner of the Buddha’s teachings, I have a duty to free myself from wrong views and align myself with the truth. And by making donation, I have the opportunity to make sure the Buddha’s teachings last for a very long time… so that in the future I could still have access to it in order to help me getting rid of wrong views and reaching enlightenment.
And that’s why I think the Buddha mentioned about the level of merit between giving to regular monks or to an enlightened individuals. It is because of the potential benefits that I could get from these individuals. It is like when I want to download a very large file, I technically will have a better opportunity to finish the download when I have access to internet with broadband connection than a dial-up! Thus, I am giving because of myself, from myself, and for myself. Of course, the effects of my giving can affect other people as well such as the person receiving the gifts or the people witnessing the act. But ultimately, I have to know what merit I am getting in order to get it. So from now on, by realizing what benefits it could bring me in giving donation, I can make aspiration that this donation will help me in my journey in freeing myself from any wrong views and reach enlightenment.
In loving memory of His Majesty BHUMIBOL ADULYADEJ King of Thailand.