Continuing with the Pokemon Go theme:

After doing some research and talking to people, I learned that some Pokemon are better than others.  I took over a gym one day and found that some of the Pokemon I chose to attack the gym with were not effective against the Pokemon there (because when I attacked, I saw a message on my screen that said something like “attack not effective”).  Based on this, I know I have to research what attacks are effective on the Pokemons that control the gym.  I also have to make sure I have a large enough variety of evolved Pokemon to successfully take over the gym.  In trying to capture Pokemon, there are different methods.  For example, based on the color of the circle that appears around the Pokemon (indicating you can attempt to capture it), you can determine the difficulty.  There are different types of poke balls you can use.  One is stronger than another.  There are different throws you can do (regular, curve, nice, great or excellent).  You can also try to feed it with a berry which will make it happy and thus easier to catch.  But there is no set way to capture them.  There are times when I do a fancy throw and it doesn’t catch it, but when I do a basic throw, it does.  Another way of summing this up is “one size doesn’t fit all.”

Converting worldly wisdom to Dhamma wisdom:

In raising my son, I started with a permanent thought that I am dad and he is my son, therefore, he must listen to me and do what I tell him to do.  If he does what I tell him to do, he will be successful in life and be self-sufficient.  In taking that stance, I became very frustrated and angry, because I would tell him things and he “wouldn’t listen.”  I had to force him to do things.  I realized that with this approach, I would win most of the time in the short run, but would probably lose in the long run.  In apply this “Pokemon” wisdom (not all Pokemon are created equal and not all Pokemon can be successfully captured the same way),  I had to understand my son, I had to try different approaches to help him develop/evolve and I had to understand that there are no guarantees for success.  In the end he choses for himself.

In the past, my frustration came from him “not listening.”  If I explain something, he should understand….right?  In applying Pokemon wisdom to my Dhamma contemplation, I can see that children are just like Pokemon.  They are all different and do not react or learn at the same rate.

I catch myself a lot telling him to do things or explaining things to him, then the thought comes into my mind….should he understand?  Like Pokemon, they start out with a set of skills and they change as they “evolve.”  And as a first-time-parent, I don’t know what to expect.  I don’t know what skill set he has because all children are different.  I don’t know how “evolved” he is.  I don’t know what truly motivates him.  I don’t know what his talents or strengths are.  Rather than get mad, I have to understand him and change my approach constantly.  I can’t be complacent in my method because there is no rhyme or reason to how quickly or slowly he evolves/matures.  Also, the older he gets, the more I have to allow him make his own choices.