In my basement at home, I have two light switches. One light switch turns on a single light that will provide adequate light for going down to the room in the basement. The other switch will turn on all the lights in the basement (big light). I noticed that Jason would turn on the big light when he goes down to the basement room. I asked him why he had to use the big light. He said he was going to the basement room and couldn’t see if he used the single light so he had to turn on the big light. I have told him before not to do it because he is wasting energy, but he still does it and it isn’t necessary. I know he has a fear of ghost, which I thought was silly. My typical approach to this situation would be to question him and have him admit that he turns on the big light because he is afraid of ghosts. Then it would be followed by a five minute lecture about how he has nothing to be scared of and that he should stop wasting power because I’m paying for the bill not him (of course this is a deeper problem with me and money which I will address is another blog entry once I work it out). Before I said anything this time, I took a breath and Internalized. I thought about how I was when I was a kid. I thought about how scared I was of ghosts, how I would have to sometimes sleep with the lights on when I saw a scary movie. I also thought about my expectations and decided that they were not reasonable. He is just a child and I could not expect him to act like and adult. After I put the situation in perspective, I simply stated that I know his reasons for turning on the big light and there is nothing to be afraid of. And I asked him if could he just use the small light next time he goes to the basement room. To which he responded, “Yes.”

I said what I had to say. Practicing Dhamma has helped me start separate the ego/anger/expectations from my raising of Jason. As parent, I had to explain to him, not to be afraid of ghosts, but I didn’t let my expectations control the way I talked to him (in this instance) which would have resulted in a long lecture which would have resulted in both of us getting upset.