So on the night before Valentine’s Day, I ask my son if he got anything for mom. He said no. He wasn’t planning anything. As usual, I asked him why and as usual he said “I don’t know.” I then proceeded to lecture him about how we sacrifice for him and take care of him and he was not appreciative of what we do for him. I noticed that he started to look angry which caused me to lecture him more. I told him that tomorrow morning he was going to wish mom a Happy Valentine’s Day and tell her that he will take her out to dinner.

When I saw LP Anan at the morning alms rounds later that week, I told him what happened. He told me that I could have approached the situation differently which could have resulted in Jason not becoming angry and coming up with a solution on his own. After our discussion, I realized that in asking him the question the day before Valentine’s Day, I backed him into a corner. He forgot (which kids often do) and didn’t have enough time to fix it and my questioning him didn’t help the situation and added to his stress. I should have reminded him earlier so he would have time to plan. Since I reminded him the day before Valentine’s Day, because I forgot to ask him earlier about what he got for mom, I should have just made a comment and let him resolved it himself. Often times, LP Anan talks about proper time and appropriate speech, this is a prime example. My timing was off and the way I spoke with Jason was not appropriate because he became angry.

In the end, I should be more aware of the damage words can cause, and not talk so much. When it comes to my son, I should remember that he is growing up and makes mistakes (like me) and I should not lecture him or force answers out of him (which results in him becoming angry) just because he doesn’t meet my expectations