A good friend of mine had a brother who had become seriously ill. The truth is, it was a long standing disease — slow progression at first, but suddenly much more severe. It looked increasingly like his death was imminent. All my friend wanted to do was to help, to find some cure, to put forth effort, to do something, anything, to make her brother better. Her efforts however were fruitless…
I was sitting on the bathroom floor of my Manhattan loft, engaging in a-now-typical-ritual — crying my eyes out. I was miserable. I was so depressed. Above all else, I felt lost and trapped. The circumstances were this: Eric and I were in debt for a house we hated. He had a 2 year contract at work that, if broken, would require a significant sum to pay back our relocation…
I was out for a walk and I saw a swirl of leaves blowing around in the wind. I decided to try to use it as an Ubai, a metaphor for my own confused and upended life. I closed my eyes and began to imagine my own objects, details of places and people, from my Cali and NY life, swirling around me. All out of my control, moved by forces…
And … because sometimes suffering and delusion just don’t end overnight … a second pestering email, written several weeks after the first, to Neecha, and her skillful response. Alana’s Second Email to Neecha Hey Neecha — I hope you and Mae Yo are both well. I’m writing to whine again… sorry. The problem is, at least, slightly different this time (no actually I’m kidding, its totally the same, but I’ll get there)……