I walked into Starbucks today and there was a homeless man making a mess at his table near the door, I felt myself move to give him wide berth, going to stand as far from his table as I possibly could while still holding my place in line. The truth is, the man, his rupa (physical form), disgusted me — the smell of filth mixed with urine, the look of…
On Being Prepared
While not exactly a continuation of the last blog, this one does take-up one of it’s themes — my need to be prepared. If you haven’t already done so, you may want to return to the story of my Epic Wardrobe Struggles and start there before reading the current blog. On the tail end of my vacation, I started considering one of the key drivers behind my packing stresses — my need…
Epic Wardrobe Struggles
Counting down days to an upcoming vacation to Seattle and Napa, and suddenly I start wondering to myself, “what the hell am I going to wear on this trip?” I would rather wear pants than skirts, in case we are hiking a lot, but then I feel like I don’t have a jacket to match most of my pants. Plus, what if we want to go to a fancy meal…
Chasing the Happiness Dragon
A song came on in the radio today —Lean On Me— and I started feeling nostalgic, missing my old summer camp, where every year we ended the camp season singing that song around the campfire. The irony of my missing camp is this: I went to the same summer camp for 8 years, for five of those eight years, I was miserable; I was so unpopular, the kids all made…
A Painful Beauty
Lately I have been contemplating on beauty. It is a quality so dear to me, I dedicate so much of my time, my energy, my possessions in service of it. When I think of a moment I consider to be one of my ‘peak beauty moments’ — standing in front of the full length mirror, modeling my bright red wedding dress, my super-fit 20 something bod and flawless dewy skin —…
Eternal Pairs
Pain/pleasure, censure/praise, gain loss, fame/insignificance, as I was considering the polarity of the worldly conditions, it dawned on me that their pairings are inevitable; they will always come together, unbreakably linked for all time. The reason is simple — whatever has the ability to move in one direction has the ability to move in the other: If something can accumulate it can dissipate, if it can grow it can whither, the…
And It’s Still About Me and Me, Again…
This blog is a direct continuation of the previous entry — Its about me and me. If you have not already done so, please go back and read that entry before you proceed here. On the tail of realizing that my own standards/impossible desires –and my inability to uphold them — lay at the heart of my negative feelings about my Mom, I started considering a few other troubled relationships in…
It’s About Me and Me
Today I was at Whole Foods and a call came over the loudspeaker, ” Can the owner of the silver BMW with plate number XYZ please come to the front”. That was me, “that is my car” I said, as I rushed to the front desk. It turns out I had parked crooked over the line and the person in the space next to me couldn’t get out. I hadn’t…
Maybe That’ll Honk Some Sense Into Me
This morning I was walking down the street and suddenly my peaceful stroll was interrupted by a bevy of honking: A bus was stuck behind a tow truck that was blocking the road and the bus driver was relentlessly laying on the horn. The thing was, the tow truck had no other place it could possibly go. In order to be able to tow the car that needed towing, to…
Waste and Consequence
I was at a coffee shop and they asked if I wanted my drink for here or to go. I thought for a second and figured I have the time to sit and sip, so I might as well take my drink for here and save the paper cup. The truth is, I have been thinking a lot about how much I waste lately; it’s kinda hard not to when…